


Pucker Up

by ClarySage (ClaryTehSage)



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaryTehSage/pseuds/ClarySage
Summary: Will and Jack are getting drunk again…oh dear, *again*WARNINGS: Beware the lemons and what will befall those without!FEEDBACK: Will be adored appropriately and responded to in kindAUTHOR NOTES: for the Contrelamontre "food" challenge. Done in 29 minutes give or take a few minutes.





	Pucker Up

"One of my worse memories is of the year I had scurvy," Jack admitted one darkened night as he sat with Will on the deck of the Black Pearl sharing a bottle of rum.

"You've had it?"

"Didn't you wonder why I've lost some teeth?"

"No, I thought they were lost in a fight," Will shrugged and peered up at the moon. "What's so bad about having scurvy?"

"Rum,"

"Rum's bad?"

"No, hand me the rum."

"Oh," Will passed over the bottle and waited as Jack took a long swig.

"Ah, all right. Let me tell you about the horrors of the dreaded seamen disease." Jack shook a finger with distaste. "The most horrible thing on the ocean if you ask me."

"I didn't, really." Will tried to interrupt, but the bottle was handed back and he took a swig himself in order to quell his need to butt in.

"Do you know what it does to you?"

"Never had it, now have I?"

Jack glared mildly. "All who go to sea know what it is and what it does."

"Not I."

"You're a poor excuse for a pirate, Will, your father would be ashamed."

"I'm not a pirate!"

"You are now."

"Tell me about the scurvy then," and Will decided he'd shut up and drink for a bit in retaliation.

"The passage between England and the Caribbean is a long one as you know, and at times the stops between are not there at all, savvy?"

"So, fish for dinner nearly every night then?"

"Aye, something akin to that. It's easy enough to eat fish in a sea full of them."

"I've always had a fondness for that big silvery one."

Jack rolled his eyes and looked aggrieved. "And of course there's only one of those," he responded dryly.

"Little bit of lemon or some of that other yellow fruit."

Jack gnashed his teeth, "Lemons! Is exactly my point."

"Oh, you had a point?"

"I did…though now you've made me go and forget it. Rum."

"Rum was your point?"

"No, hand me the rum."

"Oh," Will did as told and wondered where the point had gone, then recalled the teeth and mixed it with the lemons and offered, "So how did you get scurvy?"

"Ah yes! Well, there were too few stops and not enough fresh greens, and within a few months, I'd gotten the scurvy. It was horrible."

"Why?"

Another glare careened its way towards Will. "Let's see - I lost color, teeth, a bit of hair,"

Will looked surprised and picked at a messy lock of Jack's dark hair. "I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it. Then there was the stomach illness, the bowels of hellish ease, and the reopening of old wounds. All in all, a  
fantastic time, I recommend it highly."

"I'll be sure to give it a try sometime." Will beamed impishly across at Jack and borrowed the rum bottle, choking on a mouthful when Jack pulled at his ankle to gain his attention.

"What?"

"I said `bowels of hellish ease' and that's all you have to say about it?"

"I didn't think it needed a comment, and Jack?"

"Yes?"

"We're out of rum."

"That's worse than scurvy!"

"I know. Oh, and here." Will grinned and tugged out a lemon from the top of his boot.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know why you're hiding lemons in your boots?"

"Well," Will looked sheepish, "I'd hate to get scurvy and lose my teeth."

Jack managed to mix loathing and amusement all in one steady gaze and bared his gold teeth. "There are other ways to lose those pretty teeth."


End file.
